standstill

time is moving forward

i am standing still in the pain of yesterday

the sting of my chest 

and the questions in my head are what i wake to

always more intense in the first moments of the day

like it's testing me

seeing how much it will actually take for me to quit

for me not to put on my shoes

but I get up

heavy

just like the time before

and i physically move forward with time

but emotionally drag myself through your words

your actions

your eyes 

your situation

and nothing adds up

they all say something different

i have found myself in an emotional standstill  

wondering where to go next